I read an interesting interview this morning on Salon.com with Amy Richards, author of a new book called “Opting In” – yet another take on the mommy debate. Ms. Richards calls herself a feminist, is the co-founder of the Third Wave Foundation and has written two other books. Her latest tome discusses the whole being a mom but not losing yourself in the midst of it bit.
Just a disclaimer, I haven’t read the book but simply experienced a sampling of her views in the Salon interview. There are pieces of her argument that I buy — yes, we should, as much as possible, maintain our own lives outside of our children. Not always easy to do but important. After all, kids do grow up and (hopefully) leave home. So, there needs to be something to focus on after they’ve (rightfully) gone on with their own lives.
She also discusses the idea of listening to yourself and your own common sense rather than polling every mom you know to figure out whatever everyone else is doing. It can be tough out there. I mean lots of moms and lots of parenting styles. Which one is best? It’s hard not to feel the pressure.
The thing is, at the end of the day Ms. Richardson has very well paid and competent childcare to help her maintain her “chi” and allow her to continue her own passions and pursuits. I’m just not sure that average mom has the time to sit down and read a book about staying in the game. They’re just too busy getting kids fed, in clean clothes and out the door in the morning.
It just drives me a little nuts when highly accomplished career women start giving their views on having children and maintaining who you were before little hands and feet invaded your space. I am sure that Ms. Richards has very competent and well paid nannies to help her maintain her outside interests
1 Comment
April 30, 2008 at 10:59 pm
Absolutely agree – it’s always those with time to write a book who tell us how to do it (I never had time and I didn’t have a nanny). I used to tell myself that when I was making music with the kids I was still in role as a musician (albeit a morphed sort of version) and when I was doing clay with them I was in role as a person who liked being arty-crafty. Otherwise being “mum” would have taken over completely. I think it worked I still have these roles and I haven’t been annihilated!